I think you\u2019re talking to me.\u00a0 Or at least trying to\u2026first, the moment under the mango tree of feeling so small and inadequate for such a big scary job and responsibility.\u00a0 And then yesterday.\u00a0 Oh these kids, they have my heart.\u00a0 Especially Louisiana and Sageline.\u00a0 Their smiles melt me.\u00a0 After spending the entire day with the two of them, I just wish I could take them home.\u00a0 After our workday at the orphanage we had another church service there and I definitely had a moment with you.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re sitting there in the church.\u00a0 I\u2019m on the very end of one of the teeny tiny school desk benches with Louisiana in my lap.\u00a0 Jean Pierre is next to me and I have my arm around him with his tiny hand in mine.\u00a0 Next to Jean Pierre is a little guy who I haven\u2019t spent much time with, his name is Waschneider and he is precious.\u00a0 After a few moments, I feel Waschneider\u2019s small fingers in my hand that is holding Jean Pierre\u2019s.\u00a0 He very slowly, minute by minute, begins nudging his fingers into my hand between Jean Pierre\u2019s and mine.\u00a0 Before I know it, our three hands are all tightly interlocked.\u00a0 In this moment my heart breaks thinking of the physical touch these children desire.\u00a0 I fight back the tears.\u00a0 They just want to be with me and feel my physical presence.<\/span><\/p>\n After sitting there for a long while with all our hands intertwined and Louisiana in my lap I feel you speaking to me.\u00a0 You\u2019re telling me that you, by your Holy Spirit, are trying to nudge your way into my life.\u00a0 Just like little Waschneider nudging his way into my hand and into my life.\u00a0\u00a0 But I\u2019m not really letting you\u2026I\u2019ve got some great excuses for not listening and for ignoring those nudges.\u00a0 I run a very busy schedule, I\u2019m constantly on the go, I\u2019m rarely home, I never sit still, and my time with you is usually a rushed time in your Word each morning followed by a quick prayer.<\/span><\/p>\n But if I\u2019m honest, I think I\u2019m mostly ignoring these nudges because I\u2019m scared.\u00a0 I\u2019m scared of what you\u2019ll tell me, what you\u2019ll expect and require of me.\u00a0 I struggle with believing the lies from satan that I will be completely insufficient for the task you’ve called me to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n But I no longer want to ignore those nudges. \u00a0I want to feel and experience you and listen to you as you guide me.\u00a0 I want to remember little Waschneider\u2019s hand nudging closely into mine.\u00a0 Help me be more sensitive to you and more willing to rest and listen.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m excited about what lies ahead; I know that you are all I need and you will make me be enough for whatever tasks you have for me.\u00a0 Thank you for using one of these precious little ones to teach me a little more about who You are Jesus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":962,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n